Solve Problems Like A MAN!
By clubbing the snot out of 'em in Hammerin' Hero.
Published: April 8, 2009
You have to respect a game where the solution to any number of people's problems is solved by simply bludgeoning them into irrelevance with a large mallet. Or with some ninja-quick punches. Or with a big anchor on a chain. Or maybe just with a large baseball bat.
Oh, wait, I'm probably going too fast. Let me back up a bit.
Hammerin' Hero is a game where a dude (Gen) with a hammer (or any of the other weapons listed above depending on the job you take) smashes things. Lots of things; giant walking tanks with spiked drills, guys so in love with construction that they had a house built on their head, some kind of weird crab-like mechanized robo-thing with a guy in one of its giant claws... y'know, the usual.
Wait, still too fast? Right.
Gen's a nice guy. He has a special lady friend named Kanna that makes him bento lunches that help him transform into one of 10 different job classes, each with their own special attacks and unique weapons. There are a bunch of bad guys trying to bust into their nice, tranquil little Japanese burg with tons of construction and thugs driving huge machines and... okay, there's really no easy way to describe Hammerin' Hero without sounding just a little like a crackhead. And that’s fine, because by the end of this review I'll probably sound like an old crackhead, prattling on about how great games were "back in the day."
In truth, Hammerin' Hero is just like those games back in the day, the result of it being a very obvious nod to the old 8-bit-era Hammerin' Harry games and very comfortably situating itself around the very simple mechanics of jumping, smashing stuff and not getting touched while doing it. Unless Gen is wearing a protective helmet that'll absorb a hit, it's back to the nearest checkpoint for him, and if he does it three times, then it's a visit to the game over screen.
God Hand once famously quipped thusly about itself: "This is a hard game. A very hard game. But Fair." That's paraphrasing it, but I can't possibly think of a better way to describe Hammerin' Hero than that. Yes, you'll die. You'll probably die a lot. But all those deaths (or at least mine) were due to stupidity rather than the game flicking a million fireballs or something at you from off screen. It's such an old-school, simple, challenging little 2D action platformer that even if I didn't think it was a great game (I do), I'd probably still at least applaud it for being so unapologetically old-school.
In fact the only place where the game falters is when it tries to do something that's not in the vein of the classic 2D platformers: it has wireless multiplayer. It's also an absolute trainwreck; the slowdown that peppers some parts of the single-player game and seems almost fitting instead turns the process of trying to race another Ad Hoc-connected player to the end of a level, earning points for beating bosses or hitting enemies (or each other when you can actually interact at pre-set meeting spots in the level) into such a sluggish, painful exercise in frustration that it makes me write paragraph-long run-on sentences like the one you just read. Don't play the multiplayer. It's bad and it'll make you like the game less.
Instead, focus on the sheer amount of stuff that was packed into the game -- the English version of which sports more voice acting (plus the JP voices if that's your bag), better load times and increase movement speed for Gen - useful for a game all about reaction. Revel in the hilariously ridiculous dossiers on all the people and bosses you'll meet in the game. Obsess over the various souvenirs you can collect for killing X number of enemies or earning new jobs. There's a ton of stuff to be found here, and it makes replaying levels on different difficulties that much more entertaining (and, yes, challenging).
Oh, wait, I'm probably going too fast. Let me back up a bit.
Hammerin' Hero is a game where a dude (Gen) with a hammer (or any of the other weapons listed above depending on the job you take) smashes things. Lots of things; giant walking tanks with spiked drills, guys so in love with construction that they had a house built on their head, some kind of weird crab-like mechanized robo-thing with a guy in one of its giant claws... y'know, the usual.
Wait, still too fast? Right.
Gen's a nice guy. He has a special lady friend named Kanna that makes him bento lunches that help him transform into one of 10 different job classes, each with their own special attacks and unique weapons. There are a bunch of bad guys trying to bust into their nice, tranquil little Japanese burg with tons of construction and thugs driving huge machines and... okay, there's really no easy way to describe Hammerin' Hero without sounding just a little like a crackhead. And that’s fine, because by the end of this review I'll probably sound like an old crackhead, prattling on about how great games were "back in the day."
In truth, Hammerin' Hero is just like those games back in the day, the result of it being a very obvious nod to the old 8-bit-era Hammerin' Harry games and very comfortably situating itself around the very simple mechanics of jumping, smashing stuff and not getting touched while doing it. Unless Gen is wearing a protective helmet that'll absorb a hit, it's back to the nearest checkpoint for him, and if he does it three times, then it's a visit to the game over screen.
God Hand once famously quipped thusly about itself: "This is a hard game. A very hard game. But Fair." That's paraphrasing it, but I can't possibly think of a better way to describe Hammerin' Hero than that. Yes, you'll die. You'll probably die a lot. But all those deaths (or at least mine) were due to stupidity rather than the game flicking a million fireballs or something at you from off screen. It's such an old-school, simple, challenging little 2D action platformer that even if I didn't think it was a great game (I do), I'd probably still at least applaud it for being so unapologetically old-school.
In fact the only place where the game falters is when it tries to do something that's not in the vein of the classic 2D platformers: it has wireless multiplayer. It's also an absolute trainwreck; the slowdown that peppers some parts of the single-player game and seems almost fitting instead turns the process of trying to race another Ad Hoc-connected player to the end of a level, earning points for beating bosses or hitting enemies (or each other when you can actually interact at pre-set meeting spots in the level) into such a sluggish, painful exercise in frustration that it makes me write paragraph-long run-on sentences like the one you just read. Don't play the multiplayer. It's bad and it'll make you like the game less.
Instead, focus on the sheer amount of stuff that was packed into the game -- the English version of which sports more voice acting (plus the JP voices if that's your bag), better load times and increase movement speed for Gen - useful for a game all about reaction. Revel in the hilariously ridiculous dossiers on all the people and bosses you'll meet in the game. Obsess over the various souvenirs you can collect for killing X number of enemies or earning new jobs. There's a ton of stuff to be found here, and it makes replaying levels on different difficulties that much more entertaining (and, yes, challenging).
