The Purpose of the Ninja is to Flip Out and Kill People
Ninja Gaiden Sigma has arrived. You should be playing it right now.
Published: July 19, 2007
Due to the fact that we're nearly always working on something -- even though it might look like we're all taking naps and binge drinking at 11AM -- there have been a lot of games that I just never got around to playing. I didn't play the second Metroid Prime, didn't play Dead Rising on the 360, and for some retarded reason, I never really played all that much of Ninja Gaiden on the original Xbox. Oh, I played enough to know it was good, but I just never ran out to get it, ditto when Ninja Gaiden Black came out.
Now, finally, I can't escape Ninja Gaiden because it's finally arrived on a PlayStation system and now I get why everyone was going nuts over the game. Though I won't be able to make an ultra-detailed analysis of what's different this time around (y'know, beyond the obvious stuff like new Mission Mode missions and the addition of the ultrabuxom Rachel as a playable character). What I can do is explain to folks like me that never got a chance to play the game on its original home just why it was so good.
And hey, who knows, maybe all my talk of all the fun I had while getting my ass kicked will persuade some of you that already own one of the first two versions of the game to pick up the PS3 one. It's all fancy and hi-def now, y'know. Yeah, 1080p and 60fps all the time. Rock solid. Purdy. Fuuuuuun. Harrrrrrrrrd.
Let's talk about that last one for a second. The game, despite being slightly tweaked apparently, is still brutally difficult. It's so hard and so frustrating in some parts that I thought I was going to explode out of sheer rage. But here's the thing: you can beat it. The more you play, the better you get, but often the learning curve is so out of sync with the difficulty one that you don't realize just how much ass you're kicking as the game continues to pile on more enemies that can do more stuff that would kill any normal video game character in a second. Yes, you'll die, you'll die like crazy, but all the while, you'll slowly pick up more and moves to add to your go-to list and eventually the game will end up playing not unlike you're some kind of high-level fighting game pro with an absolutely stupid number of movies and techniques to pull off.
That is what makes Ninja Gaiden Sigma so damn good. The camera, at times, sucks so hard no cuss word in existence will fit the kind of frustration you're feeling as you fall or die or get hit by something off screen, and some of the game's moves require absolutely perfect precision and timing, but none of this matters the next time you run into a room and slice the heads off everyone but the last guy who you juggle for about 30 seconds, all without taking a hit. The rush of beating the snot out of people with the kind of precision that you used to pretend you had after watching too many kung-fu movies is here, and can seep into your veins at a moment's notice.
Don't try to make sense of the storyline, which goes from a feudal Japanese village being burned down to slicing and dicing a bunch of ninjas on bikes in the middle of some kind of techno city filled with rainbow disco lights and Spider Clan Ninjas and oh man aneurysm. No, just go with wherever the game takes you, consult your friends the message board or, y'know, your actual friends and learn some of the deeper techniques in the game. For instance, if you can learn to time a button press the second you land from a jump, you're insta-charged for a super-powerful attack. Blocking and rolling away from certain attacks takes deft timing, but again, it becomes a natural part of your moveset.
Now, finally, I can't escape Ninja Gaiden because it's finally arrived on a PlayStation system and now I get why everyone was going nuts over the game. Though I won't be able to make an ultra-detailed analysis of what's different this time around (y'know, beyond the obvious stuff like new Mission Mode missions and the addition of the ultrabuxom Rachel as a playable character). What I can do is explain to folks like me that never got a chance to play the game on its original home just why it was so good.
And hey, who knows, maybe all my talk of all the fun I had while getting my ass kicked will persuade some of you that already own one of the first two versions of the game to pick up the PS3 one. It's all fancy and hi-def now, y'know. Yeah, 1080p and 60fps all the time. Rock solid. Purdy. Fuuuuuun. Harrrrrrrrrd.
Let's talk about that last one for a second. The game, despite being slightly tweaked apparently, is still brutally difficult. It's so hard and so frustrating in some parts that I thought I was going to explode out of sheer rage. But here's the thing: you can beat it. The more you play, the better you get, but often the learning curve is so out of sync with the difficulty one that you don't realize just how much ass you're kicking as the game continues to pile on more enemies that can do more stuff that would kill any normal video game character in a second. Yes, you'll die, you'll die like crazy, but all the while, you'll slowly pick up more and moves to add to your go-to list and eventually the game will end up playing not unlike you're some kind of high-level fighting game pro with an absolutely stupid number of movies and techniques to pull off.
That is what makes Ninja Gaiden Sigma so damn good. The camera, at times, sucks so hard no cuss word in existence will fit the kind of frustration you're feeling as you fall or die or get hit by something off screen, and some of the game's moves require absolutely perfect precision and timing, but none of this matters the next time you run into a room and slice the heads off everyone but the last guy who you juggle for about 30 seconds, all without taking a hit. The rush of beating the snot out of people with the kind of precision that you used to pretend you had after watching too many kung-fu movies is here, and can seep into your veins at a moment's notice.
Don't try to make sense of the storyline, which goes from a feudal Japanese village being burned down to slicing and dicing a bunch of ninjas on bikes in the middle of some kind of techno city filled with rainbow disco lights and Spider Clan Ninjas and oh man aneurysm. No, just go with wherever the game takes you, consult your friends the message board or, y'know, your actual friends and learn some of the deeper techniques in the game. For instance, if you can learn to time a button press the second you land from a jump, you're insta-charged for a super-powerful attack. Blocking and rolling away from certain attacks takes deft timing, but again, it becomes a natural part of your moveset.
