So This Is Love?
Oh, hi there, Guitar Hero: Van Halen... Why are you here, exactly?
Published: December 22, 2009
I'm going to curb the seething hatred I'm starting to feel for whatever Activision execs are currently allowing their own franchises to be run into the ground. I've lambasted the Guitar Hero series at length in recent reviews, complaining of the number of releases this year alone. There's simply no need to rehash it; Activision knows what they're doing and the fans, who have started to become just as burned out on the idea of music games, are (hopefully) showing their disinterest at the register.
That Guitar Hero: Van Halen was offered as a free bonus to those that picked up Guitar Hero 5 yet are still selling the thing at full price at retail should be a rather ominous indication of the kind of confidence Activision has in this latest entry. In case you're not picking up on the message, though, let me make it abundantly clear: this is the most flagrant of cheap cash-ins.
The thing is, I'm sure there's more to it than just cobbling together a handful of songs, burning them onto the disc and releasing it at sixty bucks because when something like that is done (such as in the case of Band Hero), there's at least an inclusion of the new stuff seen in the latest Guitar Hero games. Little factoids, a well-rounded smattering of songs, these sorts of things show at least an effort to fold any new stuff into future releases, even if they should just be DLC packs. And hey, Guitar Hero: Metallica righted the wrongs of the comparatively half-assed Guitar Hero: Aerosmith by including tons of band-relevant info and brought us the almighty Expert+ and its double bass.
Guess how much of that care and attention Guitar Hero: Van Halen includes? If you said none, congrats, get yourself a cookie. Almost half the game isn't even Van Halen songs and are hilariously out of place; aside from an intro there's nothing that really makes this feel like a band-specific game is included -- no videos, no background info, and the selection of songs has some major blank spots where more controversial band members were part of the group. Those awesome challenges introduced in Guitar Hero 5 or the drop-in/drop-out ease of getting people into the new Party Play Mode? Missing. The option to import these songs into the main game? Noope. Access to the store? Negatory, good buddy.
That's not to say some of the songs here can't be fun -- and some of them, it should come as no surprise, are insanely hard unless you're a GH superfreak. Some of those woefully out-of-place extra band songs are a blast to play too -- the double-bass in Killswitch Engage's "The End of Heartache" is a perfect introduction to the mechanic for newcomers. But a few bright spots at the end of the "Career" Mode or the weird collection of other bands do not a worthwhile purchase make. If you happened to get this game for free as part of the bonus, then pat yourself on the back: you paid precisely what anyone should for this. Too bad it requires another disc to access it, but I'm sure there were all sorts of fun rights issues given how apparently difficult Van Halen is to work with.
Whatever the behind-the-scenes reasons for Guitar Hero: Van Halen turning out like this may be are irrelevant, though. The disc-based version of this game absolutely should not exist. There's no reason for it to, and the clear half-assed nature of the retail product makes the $60 asking price patently offensive. This is the physical embodiment of a slap to the face of everyone who loved the Guitar Hero franchise and as such should be quietly ignored save for perhaps a quick figurative middle finger to whomever decided to actually put this game out on the market at full price. Shame on you.
That Guitar Hero: Van Halen was offered as a free bonus to those that picked up Guitar Hero 5 yet are still selling the thing at full price at retail should be a rather ominous indication of the kind of confidence Activision has in this latest entry. In case you're not picking up on the message, though, let me make it abundantly clear: this is the most flagrant of cheap cash-ins.
The thing is, I'm sure there's more to it than just cobbling together a handful of songs, burning them onto the disc and releasing it at sixty bucks because when something like that is done (such as in the case of Band Hero), there's at least an inclusion of the new stuff seen in the latest Guitar Hero games. Little factoids, a well-rounded smattering of songs, these sorts of things show at least an effort to fold any new stuff into future releases, even if they should just be DLC packs. And hey, Guitar Hero: Metallica righted the wrongs of the comparatively half-assed Guitar Hero: Aerosmith by including tons of band-relevant info and brought us the almighty Expert+ and its double bass.
Guess how much of that care and attention Guitar Hero: Van Halen includes? If you said none, congrats, get yourself a cookie. Almost half the game isn't even Van Halen songs and are hilariously out of place; aside from an intro there's nothing that really makes this feel like a band-specific game is included -- no videos, no background info, and the selection of songs has some major blank spots where more controversial band members were part of the group. Those awesome challenges introduced in Guitar Hero 5 or the drop-in/drop-out ease of getting people into the new Party Play Mode? Missing. The option to import these songs into the main game? Noope. Access to the store? Negatory, good buddy.
That's not to say some of the songs here can't be fun -- and some of them, it should come as no surprise, are insanely hard unless you're a GH superfreak. Some of those woefully out-of-place extra band songs are a blast to play too -- the double-bass in Killswitch Engage's "The End of Heartache" is a perfect introduction to the mechanic for newcomers. But a few bright spots at the end of the "Career" Mode or the weird collection of other bands do not a worthwhile purchase make. If you happened to get this game for free as part of the bonus, then pat yourself on the back: you paid precisely what anyone should for this. Too bad it requires another disc to access it, but I'm sure there were all sorts of fun rights issues given how apparently difficult Van Halen is to work with.
Whatever the behind-the-scenes reasons for Guitar Hero: Van Halen turning out like this may be are irrelevant, though. The disc-based version of this game absolutely should not exist. There's no reason for it to, and the clear half-assed nature of the retail product makes the $60 asking price patently offensive. This is the physical embodiment of a slap to the face of everyone who loved the Guitar Hero franchise and as such should be quietly ignored save for perhaps a quick figurative middle finger to whomever decided to actually put this game out on the market at full price. Shame on you.
