Operation Creature Feature

Do Pass Go!

Go! Sports Ski, even as a dirt-cheap download, offers little beyond a couple of easy laughs.
Author: Sam Bishop
Published: October 11, 2007
Look, I get it, Sony is trying to build up a library of titles that use the SIXAXIS' motion controls in new ways that translate motion into new controls, and in some cases that's actually paid off rather nicely; flOw does it wonderfully, Blast Factor used it just enough to make it seem like more than a Geometry Wars clone and Warhawk uses it a minor little novelty, but those are the minority. Far more examples have been ham-fisted, and in the case of Go! Sports Ski, it's pretty much pointless.

Given that the game uses the motion controls exclusively for everything from tricks to jumping to turning, you'd think developer Yuke's would have spent some time on things. Instead, it seems like they merely flicked on a couple of switches and called the game finished. Overlapping or similar motions (like twisting the controller) often leads to the game confusing motions, making you jump when you wanted to dig your poles in to get some speed, and when you finally do jump off a cliff, pulling off tricks is basically just waggling and hoping you can level out before you eat a bunch of yellow snow. It's a horrendous, painful exercise in futility to actually string together tricks, and the speed boost you get from them is pretty pitiful anyway.

With a whopping two courses, though, you won't need to do much memorization. Yes, there are some basic branching paths that allow you to possibly get the drop on someone, but since you'll often be fighting the controls (tight turns a massive pain in the ass), some "shortcuts" can actually lead to you skiing sideways up the sheer face of a cliff. Good god, I'm getting pissed just thinking about how frustrating it is to play the game online (of which there's one actual head-to-head mode) and watch your guy ski slooooooooowly up the side of the mountain while some other guy screams by down below because he was going slow enough to make the turn.

In fact, screw it, there's really no need to go into the piss-poor "customization" options, nor the "weather" choices you have, nor the absolutely PS one-era graphics and... yeah, y'know what, f this game. Do not play it. Do not download it. Do not mention it. Do not think of it (if you're reading this, I've already made you think of it, so just do what I did and drink heavily until you forget ever having read this review. A three day bender ought to do it). In short: stay the hell away. Far, far away.
The Verdict