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Just pretend a huge bird is screaming that, it's a lot funnier. Yeaaah, there ya go.
Author: Sam Bishop
Published: October 18, 2005
The other day, we were all sitting around, talking about how it seems like only two of us ever actually update the site, and the conversation logically turned to how one time this guy totally skated from Santa Monica to East LA without bailing. Turns out this was just in a video game, which we often confuse with real life because they're so eerily similar.

It's cool, though, because that game was Tony Hawk's American Wasteland and not some murder simulator or puzzle game or we'd be running around trying to carjack and then carefully park all kinds of stuff in neat patterns. No, it's just skateboarding, and Los Angeles-wide skateboarding at that.

For the full poop on the game, it'd probably be best to just read our extensive, glowing preview of the game (or wait a few hours for the review -- smell the anticipation; mmmmm... bacon), since it fills anyone not yet deeply in the know about our insane ramblings with at least a little explanation. Got all that? Good, now enjoy this company line!

"Tony Hawk's American Wasteland is a major step forward for the brand," exclaimed Will Kassoy, Activision's vice president of global brand management. "For the first time ever, players have the freedom to experience continuous action through an immersive and humorous storyline inspired by the roots of the sport."

With tons of punk-style artwork from Jimbo Philips, a crapload of new moves (yes, you can read about them in the preview), and a storyline that takes you all over LA, why are you even reading this when clearly you should be driving to the nearest game store?

Just, y'know, watch out for people that steal your car and park it a couple blocks away in an impossibly small space next to a fishing boat, shopping cart, old lady, pile of bricks and sleeping hobo. Hey, it could happen.