Oh God... There’s something... Something’s wrong with our hands! We can’t... stop... rocking... ouuuuuut! Ungh! Yeeeeah! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaahhhhhh! Shuminaheeeeeeyaaahawwwww! Do you have any idea how hard it is to write a story when the entire office – BRAAAANNNNNGGGGGGGGG – is rocking their collective socks off? Rather hard, actually. And it’s all because Red Octane finally kicked out copies of Guitar Hero to stores (though not to us, and it’s cause vicarious rocking in all the staff – please, Red Octane, help fix our condition).

For those that haven’t heard yet, Guitar Hero takes all the fun of Guitar Freaks, the incredibly awesome Konami guitar game you’ve never heard of because they won’t bring it out here in the U.S., and remixes it as only FreQuency and Amplitude developers Harmonix Music Systems can. Seriously, these guys need to stop being so awesome, it’s starting to give us awesome overload.

Using tons (and we do mean tons) of licensed tracks ranging from Incubus to Judas Priest to Franz Ferdinand to Boston, the track list makes the game (which is as simple as holding a fret or three and “strumming” on the guitar’s pick area), and with a special SG guitar controller licensed from Gibson, there’s seriously no reason why you shouldn’t be playing the game instead of reading this. We won’t mind, don’t worry, you’re leaving us for better men.

Seriously, stop reading. Go buy the game. You’ll thank us later, when spent and covered in sweat, you’ve thrilled millions and possibly been so high on how good the game is that you searched all over the Mission district of San Francisco to find a hooker to get her to try to play the game, thinking you’d never have to play again. Or not.